Stop the negative cycle!
There was a time when you were madly in love and you couldn’t stop thinking about each other. Now it feels like you keep arguing about the same things over and over again! Maybe on the outside you look like a perfectly happy couple. And you do feel proud of the life you have built or are building together. But lately, deep down, you know you’ve been growing apart. Each of these arguments get harder to come back from. What would it be like to really be able to listen to each other and feel heard and seen?
You know yourself to be cool and calm and rational and you even have close relationships with friends and other family. Maybe you notice how easy it is to reach out and be affectionate with your kids when they’re having a tough time. But something strange happens to you when you are triggered by the person you love most in the world. The emotions can be so intense that sometimes you behave in ways that you later regret – maybe out of anger or because you freeze up and become unavailable. And then this ensures that you don’t get what you want in those moments – understanding, more closeness, empathy. Your partner might not even realize the pain or sadness that’s happening on the inside.
My goal for you is to first help you slow down these moments so that we can all understand what’s really going on inside for you. From there I can help you build skills to communicate better and turn to each other during times that you’re hurting. I also want to focus on the strengths that are already there in the relationship – and we can figure out ways to build on those and look for opportunities to bring back fun and play and connection.
I am a mother of two young kids and in a long-term relationship myself. I get that making time for each other or creating novelty in this crazy (hopefully soon to be) post-COVID era is hard. Couples counseling is really truly a gift that you can give yourself and your partner – to create a strong connected foundation to build on or to help navigate the bumps in the road that life throws in your path. All romantic relationships look different and have different navigational needs. Whether you’re more of a traditionalist in a monogamous relationship or maybe you’re more of an explorer who has set up an alternative relationship structure, I’d love to help you! I’m excited to help couples who have decided to dig in, slow down, and want to make it work and find that spark again.